Dangerous Minnesota Drunk Restricts Citizens’ Access to Public Spaces


Mere months after police pulled dangerous drunk Mike Maguire’s SUV out of the snowbank where the drunken criminal had crashed, Maguire is still on the job—and keeping all his subjects safe from the COVID scam.

As mayor of Eagan, Minnesota, Maguire divides his time between:

(1) risking citizen’s lives by recklessly driving while twice as intoxicated as legally allowed;

(2) closing Eagan’s schools, parks, and “beaches” (large lakes with sandy banks); and

(3) threatening to arrest disobedient, dissident school-goers, park-goers, and beach-goers.

When asked how he so deftly balances his own personal criminality with his wider political tyranny, Eagan’s dangerous drunk mayor, Mark Maguire, said: “Well, it is important to keep Eagan’s citizens out of public places, so they can wander Eagan’s streets aimlessly to get the bit of exercise that we, their government bosses, allow them to have.”

Mayor Maguire then added: “And after all: with everyone walking Eagan’s streets—that’s more chances for me to kill citizens with my reckless drunk-driving!”

Moral of the story: The emperor reports that the emperor is VERY clothed.

Further reading:

(1) To hear dangerous drunk Mike Maguire, mayor of Eagan, admit his crime and uh-uh-uh apologize—go here:


(2) And for more information on dangerous drunks—and degenerates generally—enforcing the current unconstitutional, treasonous house-arrest on citizens—go anywhere in many Minnesota cities, including Eagan, and enjoy the police-state signs threatening to punish those who go outside inappropriately.

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