Two Kinds of Warriors: How to Be Any Random Marine, or Deontay Wilder, In 5 Easy Steps

Be a random marine, in 5 steps.

Step 1: Be an E3 Lance Corporal in the US Marines—

Step 2: Get paid a little less than $2,000 per month for your first three years, then a little more than $2,000 per month after three years.

Step 3: Be expected, by the end of basic training, to be able to carry a 62-pound load for hours.

Step 4: Be expected, soon after basic training, to be able to carry a 152-pound load for hours.

Step 5: Be called a warrior.


How to be Deontay Wilder, in 5 steps

Step 1: Be 6’7″ by chance of birth.

Step 2: Say a bunch of anti-white, racist sissy shit before your fight with a white guy, to pander to the legions of malnourished, effeminate, racist black losers who are addicted to living through you.

Step 3: Get paid over 25 million dollars to get your ass beat easily by a white guy for about 20 minutes.

Step 4: Be a race-obsessed loser who wears a 40-pound “black power” costume for a dozen minutes or so during your ring entrance—then bitch about how the “heavy costume” tired out your weak tiny legs and made you get your ass beat easily by a white guy during “black history month.”

Step 5: Call yourself a warrior.

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