(1) HEADLINE: Two Minutes of Diversity and Inclusion
Heroically non-white Texan teen Ahmed Mohamed, and his Texan father Mohamed Mohamed, are suing the state of Texas and all its white people, after Mohamed (Ahmed Mohamed, not Mohamed Mohamed) brought the cure for cancer to school for show-and-tell, only to be harrassed and possibly killed by racist craKKKa cop Blackie Blackman.
Later in court, Mohamed’s culturally enriching lawsuit was thrown out by racist craKKKa judge Blackie Blackman, an appointee of USA’s first black president: Bill Clinton, who sometimes bites and beats Mexican women while raping them.
After failing to get justice in AmeriKKKa, the Mohameds—in true Texas style—flew to Mohamedland, Qatar, on the invitation of Qatari King Mohamed Mohamed Mohamed, whose many wives are collectively known as the “Mohamedettes” or the “Mohamed Makers,” and whose dozens of children by his many wives are affectionately known as “The Bomb Squad.”
Arriving in Qatar, overwhelmed by the nation’s noble slavery and corruption, Ahmed Mohamed and Mohamed Mohamed rejoiced in unity: “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty—free at last,” the two yelled brownly—quoting famous U.S. civil rights hero Martin Luther King, who was racistly assassinated by the black pimp of the black prostitute whom King had brutalized the night before.
(2) HEADLINE: Two Minutes of White-flight
In lighter news, several suspected-white-supremacist colorless students at Temple university in Philadelphia are racistly considering white-flight after 150 unarmed Obama-sons protested the suspected white-supremacists into comas for saying the n-word and denying the Holocaust.
After the alleged victims racistly got their blood on the Jordans of several scholars in the gentle mob, crisis counselors arrived on the scene to comfort the protesters—reminding them that thousands of blacks didn’t own slaves in the American colonies, and that the pretense of black moral-superiority is not a laughable myth.
1. See, e.g., Jessica Glenza and Nicky Woolf, Texas schoolboy arrested over clock to visit Obama as authorities defend action (The Guardian 2015), available at https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/sep/16/homemade-clock-ahmed-mohamed-texas-officials-we-were-right.
2. Wikipedia, Sam A. Lindsay (n.d.), available at https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_A._Lindsay
3. Wikipedia, Juanita Broaddrick (n.d.), https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juanita_Broaddrick
4. Qatar Foundation, Ahmed Mohamed accepts scholarship to Qatar Foundation (Qatar Government 2015), available at https://web.archive.org/web/20151223092555/http://www.qf.org.qa/news/ahmed-mohamed-scholarship-qf
5. Quartz, The family tree of Qatar’s new emir, the fourth-oldest son, who has 23 brothers and sisters (Uzabase 2013), available at https://qz.com/97918/the-family-tree-of-qatars-new-emir-the-fourth-oldest-son-who-has-23-brothers-and-sisters/
6. Jonathan Liew, World Cup 2022: Qatar’s workers are not workers, they are slaves, and they are building mausoleums, not stadiums (Independent 2017), available at https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/international/world-cup-2022-qatars-workers-slaves-building-mausoleums-stadiums-modern-slavery-kafala-a7980816.html
7. Lateshia Beachum, Michelle Obama on white flight in Chicago: ‘Y’all were running from us’ (Washington Post 2019), available at https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/10/30/michelle-obama-white-flight-chicago-yall-were-running-us/
8. Joshua Rhett Miller, Mob attacks on Temple students stoke racial tensions (New York Post 2016), available at https://nypost.com/2016/10/25/mob-attacks-on-temple-students-stoke-racial-tensions/