How to be a heroic victim, De’Von Bailey edition

(1) Be a black guy;
(2) Rob another black guy at gun-point;
(3) Get approached by the cops;
(4) Get told that someone who fits your description reportedly assaulted someone with a gun, and that the officer is going to search you for weapons before proceeding with a lawful detainment and questioning based on reasonable suspicion;
(5) Run from the cops;
(6) Get shot;
(7) Have a gun;
(8) Have a bunch of racis craKKKas of the grand jury consider all the evidence—and not file charges;
(9) Have the racis craKKKa grand jury meet secretly—because snitches get stitches…and bullet holes;
(10) Have your family’s white lady lawyer remind das racis;
(11) Have a lot of selectively-outraged puppets out “protesting gun violence and police brutality”;
(12) Look up from hell and frown when the black guy you assaulted with a gun—doesn’t even show up at the protests to show racial solidarity for your victimhood;
(13) Watch everyone pretend not to realize that the robbery victim positively ID’d De’Von Bailey as the robber—or else “police stopped the wrong guy” would be the top story of every news outlet in the nation;
(14) Watch everyone generally ignore all the innocent black (white, etc.) people who are robbed at gunpoint by urban warlords and scavengers;
(15) Pretend not to be a part of an imploding subculture of cowards and frauds who are to weak to be honest.

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