Research proves U.S. Navy Seal Chris Kyle was a Hero for Mass-murdering Iraqis

For years, some evil people have doubted that Chris Kyle was a hero for killing about 150 Iraqis, on orders from the US government during Operation Iraqi Freedom. But a new report by the US government proves all the haters wrong.

The US Department of Defense issued a new report proving that Iraqis are bad people who deserve to die. Following is a summary of the report.


Femicide. Chris Kyle killed a lot of Iraqi women. This was acceptable because the US government owns all communities, and women are community property. This is why USA’s greatest trading partner is China—a nation that, in the last few decades, has murdered about 100 million Chinese girls to clear the way for more male Chinese slaves to make shoes for USA’s overgrown black celebrity mascots to wear as they bounce balls for TV.

Innocent men and children. If American hero Chris Kyle had only killed women, then there would be nothing to talk about, because women are property. But Kyle also killed innocent men and children. However, we at the US Department of Defense have determined that all those Iraqi men and children deserved to die—because they all committed several crimes, some of which are outlined below.


Following is a brief list, compiled by the US government, describing some of the many crimes that Iraqi men, children, and women were committing against the world.

(1) Child rape;
(2) Homophobia;
(3) Transphobia;
(4) Anti-Semitism;
(5) Misogyny;
(6) Being in Iraq.

(1) Child rape. Mutual-underage marriage was rampant in pre-freed Iraq. Countless children under 18 would marry, making each child a child-molester.

Crime: Hating themselves less than they are hated by the politicians who dictate when poor people are allowed to risk making more poor people.

Sentence deserved: death.

(2) Homophobia. Research by Tel Aviv University’s Center for Sodomy Rights indicates that Iraq has never thrown a parade for men who suck shit off each other’s dicks.

Crime: hatred.

Sentence deserved: death.

(3) Transphobia. Studies indicate that Iraqis believe in biology.

Crime: heresy.

Sentence deserved: death.

(4) Anti-Semitism. Iraqis, like Hitler, hatefully believe that the atheist terrorists who occupy Palestine should not be allowed to do whatever they want to whomever they want.

Crime: having an opinion about USA’s greatest ally.

Sentence deserved: death.

(5) Misogyny. The Jew York Times reports that Iraqis don’t believe in a woman’s right to participate in government programs that murder children for economic, social, and political convenience.

Crime: Misogyny.

Sentence deserved: death.

(6) Being Iraqi. U.S. Department of Defense chairjew Jewseph Jewberg said it best: “Let’s be honest: we all know being a sand-nigger is a crime.”

Crime: Being on USA’s hit-list.

Sentence deserved: death.


In addition to this list of sins against the United States and its world, Iraqis committed many other crimes before and during Israel’s benevolent “USA’s Operation Iraqi Freedom.” Therefore those Iraqis all deserved to die, and therefore Chris Kyle is a hero for killing them—just like we always knew. Amen.

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