Christian Apostle’s Creed vs Atheist Apostle’s Creed

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Here are two competing opinions: (1) The Christian Apostle’s Creed; then (2) The Atheist Apostle’s Creed.

(1) Christian Apostle’s Creed

I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.

I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit and born of the virgin Mary. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried; he descended to hell. The third day he rose again from the dead. He ascended to heaven and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty. From there he will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Amen.

(2) Atheist Apostle’s Creed

I know that fifteen billion years ago there was nothing, which exploded.

I know that, by chance, rain began to fall on rocks, then the rocks pointlessly turned to soup, and then eventually some of that soup accidentally came alive and coincidentally became intelligent.

I know that some of the intelligent soup created, from the soup, instruments to measure the soup.

I know that the wisest parts of the intelligent soup have measured enough of the soup to prove that everything is essentially the same as everything else — and that everything is meaningless. Amen.

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