BREAKING NEWS: Manly doctors now prescribe ‘hot happy worthwhile women’ to cure Erectile Dysfunction, male suicide, and gender inequality of genital-mutilation


“Real women crave men” -Real women

Back before men discovered the clitoris, frauds such as Freud gaslighted sexually dissatisfied women as “frigid,” among other limp labels.

Today, plenty feminized fossils likewise criticize men as “sexually dysfunctional,” whenever a man’s libido cannot outpace the dissatisfaction he feels about the quality of woman he can earn. The preferred slur is “Erectile Dysfunction” (ED).


“My breasts are for feeding his children” -Real women

For decades the licensed drug-dealers of Big Pharma have capitalized on this terrorizing of men by selling various spiritual-castrations aimed at grafting an erection onto sexually unhappy men.


“Real women cooperate to please men” -Real women

But last week manly researchers at Hooray For Men Labs discovered an alternative cure for ED, which they say may render meaningless the various medicinal gauntlets which sexually disappointed men traditionally face.


“Jealousy is unladylike” -Real women

“We just thought, like you know: ‘why not prescribe these men each a hot happy worthwhile woman, and then do science tests and stuff?’ and it worked really well!,” reported lead researcher Tom Leykis.


“Real women share” -Real women

Asked whether he foresees any problems with bringing up to scale the prescribing of hot happy worthwhile women to cure men of ED, Lykis replied, “Probably not. After all, we live in a patriarchy, where everyone goes out of their way to advance male-privilege; so it is very unlikely that anyone would protest against advancements in the sexual satisfaction of men.”


“Women’s responsibility is to provide men with variety” -Real women

Dr. Leykis then went on to point out that the more general problem causing ED was a lack of self-confidence among men, which he said should be addressed seriously with ad campaigns (such as those throughout this article), to remind men how important they are.


“Men lead, women follow” -Real women

“And what’s even greater,” Leykis added, “is that by raising men’s self-esteem, we can drastically cut down men’s suicide-rate, and perhaps even raise women’s suicide-rate, which could bring us ever closer to the important goal of gender equality—in sexual humiliation, suicide, and genital-mutilation!”


“You deserve me” –Real women


“Let’s create life” -Real women

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