ORDER NOW!!! from the mental-graveyard of Bigger, Quicker, Louder

With an aim for background sound to facilitate focus for my mind during academic research, I click on a thumbnail picture for the most popular youtube video that comes through a search for “relaxing music.”

I am then, before the music, met with an advertisement featuring a fat, shirtless, bearded man, dressed up as the mythical character Cupid, and yelling about how the company who paid him to be dressed up like Cupid, and to yell fast and loud: they are so effective at bringing people love and happiness that they have “put cupid out of business” so to speak (“OR LITERALLY,” as the corporate marketers would say, snort-laughing with their mouths wide open, while a thin layer of shit rubs against the underwear inside their suit-pants, as they are too hurried, harried, and full of fun and interesting ideas to take the time to wipe themselves effectively).

Thus these sirens assure me, and anyone else upon whom youtube inflicts the advertising, that theirs is a service bigger, quicker, and louder than all other comparable services–and that it’s even bigger, quicker, and louder than traditional methods of love and happiness. Thus, if I order now, then I will earn love and be thereby gifted happiness.

I ignore the offer, sidestepping yet another of the myriad mental-graveyards of Bigger, Quicker, Louder which infest all paths towards truth. I start the music, and continue my research.

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