Paradise through mutilating and murdering children

When women’s rights activist Countess Elizabeth Bathory was murdering children to bathe in their blood as a way to stay pretty—she may have been centuries ahead of the curve, according to feminist scientists at the United States National Institute of Applied Cannibalism.

It is an established sassy fact that millions of children should be murdered, because their slaughtered carcasses can provide replacement parts for discerning members of society’s death-cult: 6 ways stem cells are leading to medicinal miracles.

Similarly progressive scientists have discovered a comparable utility in mutilating babies’s genitals: Kate Beckinsale Brags About Getting ‘Foreskin Facial’ Made From Korean Infants.

So whether you’re a diseased Jew looking to cut up and suck a baby’s dick, or a too-busy mom looking to murder her child then sell its carcass to cannibalistic flesh-wizards, or just a millionaire actress wanting to super-charge your life with magic potions made from mutilated baby genitals or dismembered albino limbs—the science of our utopia has a paradise for everyone.

In other news, two rich white liars have an opinion about each other; and self-hating Jew Harvey Weinstein is currently on trial for allegedly begging a woman watch him masturbate into a shrub.

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