Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez vows to let Republicans “run train” on her

*Editor’s note: This article was originally printed in the Associated Press.


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WASHINGTON D.C.–When it comes to Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, most casual onlookers have had thoughts to the effect of, “OMG…fake jews with Tourette’s Syndrome are so HOT! I would LOVE to run a train on AOC while that sexy googly-eyed alien-faced bitch says ridiculous shit!”

But most people know better than to express sexuality by more than, in this era where patriarch’s feminist pawns, as political landmines, can ruin a man’s life in an instant.

However, AOC (or “sexy googly-eyed alien-faced bitch” as a number of her fans call her) has set a VERY sexy precedent, by saying she wants Republicans to run a train on her.

Critics of SGEAFB say that she’s targeting the mostly-white GOP because–given that she is an assless, trans-bodied man-faced freak–no real man would fuck her with Paul Ryan’s dick and blame it on Jeb Bush.

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