Trump vows to bring diversity and inclusion to the NBA by 2020

“You can take a whole lot of small sticks, and break them one-by-one,” explained U.S. President Donald Trump at his New Black Deal address last Thursday to the congressional black cock us, and the National Association for the Advancement of Eating Chicken.

“But if those same sticks are bound together,” orange man continued: “then they are as powerful as the years of Democrat brainwashing campaigns to spread the hilarious delusion that Michelle Obama is pretty!”

Murmurring filled the room, as every white human and black agreed that such was indeed a tremendous amount of power.

“Well, my majestically muddy friends: We need a new black deal,” scolded Trump rapishly.

The response from the simian attendees was mixed: “True dat mah quadroon!,” smarted one Rhodes Scholar; with another black sage brillianting to the opposite effect: “Mufuka talmbout ‘deal’. Nigga, congressional Niggas BEEN talmbout dat sheeit. Mufukas betta get some royalties on the werd ‘deal’. Niggas own dat werd.”

“Alright, settle down, settle down,” whited Trump superiorly. “Here, have some PCP and a strung out, suicidal white woman with no teeth or self-respect. I brought enough for everybody.”

Happy howls and cheerful chatters rang out, as the pre-evolved almost-people broke out into their favorite chant: “BLACK POWER! BLACK POWER! BLACK POWER! BLACK POWER!”

“Black power indeed, my stupendously savage friends,” conceded the pale ally of black self-determination, while seizing on the moment of mind-numbed celebration to slit a few nigglets’ throats and kick a few pregnant she-boons in their crime factories.

“Oh, sheeit! Dat nigga Trump fucking up deez ugly black bitches,” niggered one dominant ebony pet charismatically, as he happily pounded his half-conscious becky from behind—swiveling his body as he thrusted, to avoid being stabbed by becky’s sword-like hip bones, which jutted out dangerously from where her deflated ass should have been.

“Well the point is,” continued Literally Hitler, “after we nuked Japanese civilians, bombed Nazi civilian infrastructure, and invented a bunch of myths about Hitler—sports became a useful alternative for uniting our nation’s cowards and mercenaries, as we tamped down the bloodlust that we socialized into our pawns to sell wars on behalf of the atheist Zionists who are hugely helpful in coordinating our mass-propaganda to control and kill.

“But sports have become too racially divisive—so now, with sports, we need to strive for the same diversity and inclusion that atheist pseudo-Jews have so effectively inflicted onto the various European nations whom the anti-Judaism kikes in Isreal so hate and fear.

“Here, then, is my proposal: in order to qualify for the NBA, a person must score higher than ‘borderline retarded’ on a standard IQ test—and also swim the length of an olympic pool, without dying a thousand deaths.”


Throughout the room, every PCP’ed brotha had stopped fuckin dey becky in mid-stroke.

“FUCK U TALMBOUT NIGGA,” argued one of the protesters passionately.

“NIGGA, WE GONNA PROTEST YO CRAKKKA ASS TO DEATH WIF DEEZ HAMMERS, MAH NIGGA!,” explained another unarmed black man, as dozens of poop-colored protesters circled President Eastasia—some chanting, “Hands up, don’t shoot,” and others chanting, “No [$Today’s_Politiial_Opponent], no KKK, no fascist USA!” — as they all slashed and stabbed at President Eurasia with their razor-sharp intellects, and with the knives which they had fashioned out of the white devils’ nothing-to-food machines, the functioning of which the athletes and entertainers had long ago given up on trying to understand (despite the billions of dollars that whites had racistly allotted over the decades, in desperate attempts to teach the melanites how to use the machines, the kangz always ended up just fearing, fighting, or fucking the technology).

And with that, the brave blacks began getting their lives back together—all over the mutilated carcass of their racist white attacker who, legend has it, had called one of them the n-word, which initiated the frantic self-defense chimp-out.

Then they all lived happily ever after—until a month later, when they ran out of food after killing all the white farmers, then began warring against each other, whereupon the victorious tribe would either eat their defeated foes, or else trade them to neighboring white tribes, in exchange for PCP and strung out, suicidal white women with no teeth or self-respect.

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