Female Genital Mutilation as a human right in Michiganistan

“A judge ruled that federal bans on Female Genital Mutilation are unconstitutional?! This is insane?!” -People who have lived most, else all, of their life in a country where child-murder is a “human-right.”

Judge Jewseph Friedman took time away from masturbating while watching the completely legal practice of Metzitzah B’peh,[1] to declare that the slave-raping Framers of the United States constitution intended (or should have intended) that the mutilation of a girl’s genitals is a human-right, and that rules against mutilating girls’ genitals are illegal according to the supreme legislative document of the United States: the Constitution.[2]

“Killing a child is Women’s Health, and cutting up a kid’s pussy is Girl’s Health” -United States jurisprudence in 2018.

Friedman, a genetically greedy appeals judge for the district of Michiganistan, ruled that “anyone whose prophet fucks six-year-olds is allowed to cut up girls’ vulvas,” grounding his opinion on the precedent set by seven old white men in 1973 who commanded that, “Child-murder is a matter of privacy.”[3]


[1] See Dan Goldberg, De Blasio administration considering starting over on metzitzah b’peh (Politico, 2017)

[2] See Eli Meixler, Federal judge rules U.S. ban on female genital mutilation is unconstitutional (Time, 2018).

[3] See Roe v. Wade.

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